Just a Slob Like One of Us

There’s a game I play and I play it often. For those lucky enough to be around me, they get to participate whenever they are near me. They don’t choose to play, but I choose for them. When I decide to play, we play. I am an expert at this game and I always win.

The game is called I win. I’ve played for as long as I can remember. It is a result of my personal soundtrack. There is always a song accompanying my personal picture show. I don’t know the triggers. Perhaps it is a result of habit or sensory memory. For instance, whenever I am in the shower, Joan Osborne is with me. When my sister is around me, John Williams provides us with a score or two. When I see my son, I hear “Go, Diego, Go!”

Now, these are the standards, but word association always leads to a new song. Someone says lady, I hear Styx. Someone says baby, I hear Amy Grant. Shot? LMFAO. So on and so forth. This is the way my brain works. It is not my fault and I do not always understand the phenomena. What if God was one of us?

A lot of times, these are songs that are easily whistled. If it can be whistled. It can be part of the game. And this is actually a more challenging aspect to the game. If you can win by whistling, then you may be more of my caliber. How do you win, Mike? Well, if you are playing me, then you can’t. If you decide to take the challenge and play on your own time, with your coworkers, friends, family, enemies, etc, then you may be able to win at I win.

The goal is to get whoever is around you to start singing whatever song you are singing or humming or whistling. The faster they sing it is not always the better. Now if you whistle a tune, do it subtly. Don’t bring attention to yourself. This is part of the game. Walk past the mark whistling the tune. A few moments later walk past them whistling the same part. Wait and listen for them to start singing the song. The longer it takes for them to sing the song is the better. If you notice that they begin singing the song much later, then you have won. You have stuck that song deep into their heads.

Pick songs that are annoying. Pick songs that are good. Pick songs that are catchy. Pick songs that are popular. Take the challenge. Start to play I Win. Everyone you know could use some Styx or Abba in their head today. Bring some happiness to yourself.

Please to enjoy.


  1. you’re annoying

    • you love it…hey, phil? who let the dogs out?


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