The Passion of Josh Part 5

“Dude, you have like 50,000 hits.” Peter said. “Not really sure what to make of that.” Josh answered. “That means that all of our efforts are paying off. We’re starting to take off.” Mary chimed in. “Super duper. People are starting to smile at me in the streets, as well. The message is starting to work. Do unto others as you would have them do. Or some shit like that. It’s really just common sense, if you ask me.” “Josh, please don’t say that in public.” Mary said. “But it’s true. Common sense for the common people.” He turns to Peter. “Tweet that out.” “Already done.” Peter said. “Score.” “I know you want to stay true, but you do have to be careful about offending people.” She said. “Offending whom? Rich people? That’s who we’re talking about right? You know they are a vast minority in this country. Even more so than any other minority in this country. They are the smallest of the small. The one percent. Well, there’s 99 percent of us who won’t be offended.” “There it is, bro.” Peter holds his hand out for a fist bump. Josh touches it. Mary smiles. She concedes. Josh and Mary go to the office while Peter goes to work. They have plans to work on the website and gain a potential TV spot riding the virality of the YouTube posting. Mary picks up the phone and begins calling stations. Josh watches her. She gets put on hold and looks up through her hair. “What are you doing?” She asks. “Watching you.” “Watching me? That’s kind of weird.” “Sting...

The Passion of Josh Part 4

Josh is sitting in a radio station with Larry the Bagel Guy, their hometown DJ. Mary knew Larry from their days in college together. They both attended the university within a couple hour drive of the home town. Josh sat with headphones on as Larry the Bagel Guy was coming back from a rejoin. “WKRP, Lite FM bringing you today’s hits, with yesterday’s favorites. This is Larry the Bagel Guy with you. That was Amy Grant just now, but here before me, we have a local man running for President! Is that right. Josh Baer.” “Yes, Larry. That is indeed correct.” “Josh, please call me Larry the Bagel Guy. What-a, what made you decide to run for President, Josh?” “Please, Josh Baer. And, well. I recently got fired.” “Got fired you say, ouch!” “Yes, Larry. Larry the Bagel Guy. I was recently fired and I was at one of those life changing moments, you know.” “Life changing moments at 35 years old, we’ve all been there!” “Well, some of us have. Can’t speak for your younger listeners out there. Anyway, I was with my brother Peter. Big shout out to Peter Baer.” Larry the Bagel Guy plays a high energy pop beat to accompany the shout out. “Big props to brother Peter out there!” “Right, big props. We were sitting at the bar having a few drinks and I just thought about how much the current politicians are no good. The system has become corrupted and there are no winners anymore.” “Big Brother is out to get you, brother.” “Okay. So, I was thinking these things and how we...

The Passion of Josh Part 3

Josh, Peter and Mary met in their new campaign office located on the downtown square. It was a small office that had a quaint reception area and a few desks. The threesome were sitting at a table. Mary was dressed in a pressed business suit, Peter was in his construction clothes and Josh was wearing a faded T-shirt and jeans. “First bit of business. Josh, I am going to need you to start wearing collars and suits.” said Mary. “I’m a man of the people.” he said. “That is what we’re running on, but we need a man of the people to look like a leader.” Josh put his heads in his hands. “Mary, if I may,” said Peter “Josh is a man of the people.” “We covered that.” she sniped. “Thanks, Peter. Mary. I don’t want to be another faceless suit, bullying my way to the top. I want the people to identify with me and listen to the message that we have. I want to wear what the people wear. I want to be the people.” “I get it. But you still need to command the respect you deserve.” “My stance on the topics will command respect. My ideology will command respect.” “With all due ‘respect,’ the mainstream media will have a field day with a poorly dressed Jew.” “Are we really Jewish?” Josh asked Peter. Peter shook his head as he didn’t know.” “Miss? You know I actually don’t know your last name.” “McNary.” She said.  The boys started laughing. “My last name is funny to you guys?” “No.” said Peter. “But, Mary McNary is!” “Look. I am doing this for free and I don’t have to be here. I...

The Passion of Josh Part 2

Josh met Peter at his house to officially start his campaign on Tuesday afternoon. Josh had been up preparing his platform and what his talking points were. They were simple. They were relevant. Peter sat at Josh’s small breakfast table. “Alright, brother. What do you got? Town council? What?” Peter asked. “President.” “President?” “President.” “What do you mean, President? President of what?” “These United States.” “Yo, have slept at all? Still drunk?” “No. I am stone sober. Peter, this is the first clear thought I’ve had for years. No more banging nails in to the studs. No more manipulating people and taking advantage of their fears so I can make a quick buck.” “That’s exactly what politics is. Manipulation.” “It doesn’t have to be anymore. That’s my platform. No more catering to big companies or bowing down to money. It’s time for the people to take it back and return this country to what it was 230 some odd years ago. It’s time, Peter. Are you with me?” “How are we going to pay for this?” “With our blood, sweat and tears. We will hit the road and campaign with the people. We will take donations where they come. We will use Twitter, Facebook, whatever. We will take the power back and give it to the people. One nation under all of our respective gods.” Peter’s hesitation was clear, but the conviction in Josh’s voice was calming. He liked what he was hearing. He began to picture what he was hearing. He looked Josh in the eye, trying to read any concern he could. He found none and agreed...

The Passion of Josh Part 1

There was this man, Josh. He worked in an office answering telephones. He sold diet pills. He sold miracles. He was a miracle worker. He was in his mid thirties. He had short, curly hair, a neat beard and brilliant, brown eyes. He wanted to change the world, but he wanted out of the miracle industry. He had little money and could not afford to quit. He came into his office on a Monday morning with lazy enthusiasm. Josh walked past the receptionist, past the water cooler, past the boss’s door that was closed and straight to his cube. He turned his computer on and sighed as he stared at his muted reflection in the blank screen. The monitor lit up and he logged into his computer. He browsed the internet. He was agitated by all of the political rhetoric being strewn about the world. He briefly thought to himself, that he would make a great candidate. One that would not vote strictly on a specified agenda. One that would vote on the populace. The issues that the American people wanted. He would be a party of the people. His phone rang and he was taken out of his day-dream. It was his boss. He wanted to see him. He wanted to see him immediately. His door was still closed. Josh knocked. A muffled voice invited him in. Josh sat down at the chair of the boss’s desk. “Baer?” he said. “Yes, sir.” “That a Jewish name?” “Not really sure, not very religious.” “How can you not know where your name comes from?” he asked. “Not sure I really...