The Passion of Josh Part 5

“Dude, you have like 50,000 hits.” Peter said.

“Not really sure what to make of that.” Josh answered.

“That means that all of our efforts are paying off. We’re starting to take off.” Mary chimed in.

“Super duper. People are starting to smile at me in the streets, as well. The message is starting to work. Do unto others as you would have them do. Or some shit like that. It’s really just common sense, if you ask me.”

“Josh, please don’t say that in public.” Mary said.

“But it’s true. Common sense for the common people.” He turns to Peter. “Tweet that out.”

“Already done.” Peter said.


“I know you want to stay true, but you do have to be careful about offending people.” She said.

“Offending whom? Rich people? That’s who we’re talking about right? You know they are a vast minority in this country. Even more so than any other minority in this country. They are the smallest of the small. The one percent. Well, there’s 99 percent of us who won’t be offended.”

“There it is, bro.” Peter holds his hand out for a fist bump. Josh touches it. Mary smiles. She concedes.

Josh and Mary go to the office while Peter goes to work. They have plans to work on the website and gain a potential TV spot riding the virality of the YouTube posting. Mary picks up the phone and begins calling stations. Josh watches her. She gets put on hold and looks up through her hair.

“What are you doing?” She asks.

“Watching you.”

“Watching me? That’s kind of weird.”

“Sting is weird.”


“Yeah, Sting. ‘Every Breath you Take.’ Way creeper. He sings about stalking a girl or boy. Not sure wh no one ever really had an issue with that before.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, that you sitting there watching me is weird. I feel weird. Almost like you are undressing me with your eyes.”

“What did I say the first time I saw you?” She smiled with the phone still pressed to her ear.

“You said that I was beautiful.”

“Yeah.” He said proudly. “That’s because you are. You know, I’m 35 and if seen some of my fair share of women, but you are the only one that took my breath away.”

“You’re rather fond of 80s music aren’t you?”

“Who isn’t? Anyway, I want to formally ask you on a date.”

“I work for you.”

“For free, if you wanted me to remind you.”

“That’s because I have faith in you.”

“Then it’s settled.”

“No, it’s – Oh, hello this is Mary McNary with the Josh Baer Presidential Campaign, may I speak to you Program Director?” She connected through to the station. Josh leaned in and studied her eyes and lips which made her nervous. She was put on hold. She looked at him. “Fine. One drink.”

After booking him an interview with a major market news program, Mary walked with Josh to the local bar. Josh was known in there and when he sat down a beer was waiting for him. Mary ordered a glass of wine.

“Why are we here, Josh?”

“We’re on a date. Getting away from the grind.”

“Is it a grind for you?”

“No, not really, I guess. I enjoy going out and talking to the people. Talking about the ideas that would make this country great again. It get’s a bit heavy here and there, but not really grinding, no.”

“That’s good. We’re about to take the next step and the next step will have you going from viral to trending in no time. I got you a regional news show that gets affiliate pick ups every now and then.”

“That’s awesome. I can’t wait. Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure. I think it’s an open format, so you won’t really have anything to prepare.”

“No, not about the campaign. You and I are on vacation for a few hours. How are you still single?”

“Come again?”

“How are you still single?”


“You’re fantastically gorgeous, smart, mostly funny and have a smoking hot body.”

“Um, thank you?”

“I mean it. How are you single?”

“It’s a complicated past. I can turn the tables and ask you the same thing.”

“Yeah? So you think I have a smoking hot body?”

“How would I ever know with all the T-shirts you wear?”

“Snap. See, I told you that you are funny sometimes.”

“I’ll take sometimes.”

“Good. But you are totally avoiding the question. Did something bad happen? Bad breakup? Lesbian? Are you a lesbian? Are you a smoking hot lesbian?”

“No, I am not a lesbian. Just the obligatory college and post college story. It’s just complicated. I don’t really like to talk about it. I just never really had time for boyfriend’s. We’ll put it that way.”

“Post college lesbianism?”

“Once or twice.”

“Hot. We should definitely come back to that story. I just want to thank you for everything you are doing for me and my brother.”

“You’re welcome. What am I doing for your brother?”

“Oh shit, I haven’t told him yet. He’s going to be my running mate!”


Please to enjoy.


  1. when is part 6 coming out?

    • I should probably do it by next Tuesday…


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *