Aidsy Cancer

Aidsy Cancer

“No shepherd and one herd! Everybody wants the same, everybody is the same: whoever feels different goes voluntarily into a madhouse.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra We are sheep. We are destined to be sheep. The vast majority of Americans follow the herd. Complacent in their own complacency. We follow the rules that have been set forth without a thought afterwards. No whispers in the wind. No desire to learn the “truth” or break free as “individuals.” We are one in the same and we choose to live a happier life. Our destiny is to be happy and to have a happy herd, the herd has to be complacent. The general election, in some people’s’ minds, is predetermined. It was always going to happen that way. A boardroom of wealthy people sat down, laughed about their wealth, bought a group of people and then decided that Barack Obama should be the president in 2008. Bush in 2004 and 2000. Clinton in 1996 and 1992. So on and so forth. These board members manipulated legislation to have a global financial crisis. They started two wars at the same time while simultaneously cutting taxes on the wealthiest of Americans. They then saw a need to take over women’s rights and bring the nation back 30 years to launch of corporatism. They are in a board room after all. Can you believe that they have been doing this for 100s of years? They are the ones that built the set to fake the moon landing. They are the ones that shot Kennedy in the head. They are the ones that shot the other Kennedy in the...

The Man Nipples of Conversation

You  can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of  conversation. – Plato Someone once told me that in order to be somewhat happy, you need to be your own biggest fan. If you don’t root for yourself, then why the hell would someone else root for you. I took that to heart. Sure, when I was younger it came across as narcissistic, self-importance. And, yeah, maybe some of that was. But as the maturation process continues to develop and mold me in to the “individual” that I am today, I have learned to listen and accept criticism in my daily life. I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. But, dog gone it, nobody likes me. That is the reality I live with. There are a select few who will put up with my indulgent tendencies long enough to know that I can conceivably care about other feelings than my own. Aside from people being forced to spend time with me at work, I can only think of a few people who have been willing to bear the bullshit I produce to get to know me. The list is short, which is okay. I can mostly socialize with anyone. Anyone cannot mostly socialize with me, however. I cannot do small talk. I can’t, I won’t, I don’t. It is bizarre to me that people talk about the weather. We both literally just had the same experience. It is not like a car accident or presidential debate in which people recant different accounts of an objective human experience. If it is raining outside, it is raining. If it...

The Artist’s Reward

“In addition to my other numerous acquaintances, I have one more intimate confidant. My depression is the most faithful mistress I have known — no wonder, then, that I return the love.” – Soren Kierkegaard The leaves are changing. The morning air is crisp. Songs are becoming heavier and slower. My weight has increased. Laura and Kyle do not like Sundays. Sundays fill them with dread and it ruins their day. This is how I feel about fall. Each day of fall, is just one day closer to winter, one day to closer to cold, one day closer to darkness, one day closer to death. All the fruits of our love from summer are now rotten or dried. The stench they emit would offend Oscar. Their faces are so ugly that their own mother would despise them. Switzerland would start a war to be rid of them. Jesus would not even love them, and he loves everybody! Fall fills me with dread. that ugly orange leaf on the tree outside of my office will be gone soon and I will be staring at a barren branch amongst a yard of white and dirty road colored snow, lazily pushed onto the parkway. Everything slows down in the fall and the days become shorter. The sun used to set at 9:30 and now it will be 6:30. I used to drive to work in the sunlight. Now it is dark. I can see how someone can chew on the end of a barrel when they live in the midwest during the fall. They become stir crazy and complacent and can’t take anything else. They can’t stand one...

Never Get Caught

Such a magical time of year. The leaves are changing color. The morning air is crisp. My football team is in first place (for now). Baseball is winding down into another storied playoff season. Fall TV returns to the airways. Now, people who know me, know that I hate the first two things on the list, but get super excited about the other three. I won’t talk much about the Bears or baseball right now though. More on that later. Which show am I most excited to return to the airways. I got a sneak peek with Parks and Recreation coming before the others. Yes, I love that show, but that is not the one I was the most excited to see. Laura and I watched seven seasons of How I Met Your Mother in less than 4 weeks. The return was, wait for it, well worth it. Funny as always. Ted was same old mopy Ted and Barney was same old Barney and Robin was, eh? I love the show as much as I love its drinking game, but it’s not the one I was waiting for. New Girl came next and gave us two solid episodes opening night. I am not sure if I like New Girl or Happy Endings better. Both comparable, but I think New Girl is taking the edge. Not just my crush on Zooey, but my man crush on Jake Johnson. He makes me laugh just about anything he says. But alas, this is not the one I was waiting for. Now, I have been thoroughly pissed at Showtime. Jenji Kohan in particular. The Weeds finale was the biggest piece of shit garbage I have...