Tear Drops and Sunshine

“Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.” – Tom Mullen

Every so often there comes a time in a couples’ life when complacency sets in. For whatever reasons. Work. School. Kids. Obesity. Whatever. We love the ones we are with, but we take it for granted. We go through the motions. I love you. How was work? Leave me alone. You look beautiful. Fart. Humping to hump.  The kids are idiots. I love my kids. Stop nagging me. Don’t be a douche. I love you. Humping to hump. Where is the romance? We complain about complacency and all of the complementing emotions involved with it.

A week and a half ago I was complacent. I married way out of my league. Laura is smart, funny, insanely hot, compassionate and one of the best people I know on this planet. I’m not sure I showed it enough. I’m incredibly narcissistic, as anyone is. Maybe I was on the verge of sensitive. I took offense to things that weren’t offensive. Don’t get me wrong, Our marriage has never really been rocky. We have had maybe five legitimate fights in our whole career. Most of them dumb. All of them reassuring the way I feel about the MILF of my children.

In the midst of the status quo, Laura had a highschool reunion and I had a similar event. I stayed and played video games with Jimmy, she went and got ogled by old classmates. I am not a jealous man. I knew that her best friend Kari and her needed a night out, away from their dipshit husbands. Let hot girls be hot girls. I just had a bad feeling. No reason why. I just did.

I texted Laura to have a good time and she said she was. I asked her to call me so we could say good night to each other. Midnight rolled around and I hadn’t heard from her. 3:00 AM. I placed a few calls. 4:00 AM Cock, that’s what they call Kari, finally texted me and said they were okay. Some relief.

I took a slight nap before I had to be up with the kids. Jimmy left. I told him that I would see him in eight years. He laughed and quoted The Cable Guy. I prepared the kids some food to eat and started to clean the house. I plugged Laura’s iPad in and saw words that changed me. Changed the way I feel. Those words were not meant for me, but I cannot unsee them. They are with me forever. And though, at the time I did not know, those words are the best thing that could have happened.

The words are not important. Like I said, they were not meant for me, so they are not meant for you. They were powerful, though. I had a tsunami of emotions running through my body. Severe dread, depression, disgust, hate, sadness. I could taste bile. I lost my appetite. That has never happened to me before. I cried.

Again, the details are not important, but Laura and I talked about it. She showed me a picture and then everything began to become clear. My dread was gone. My hate was gone. My sadness was gone. My disgust was gone. It was explained away and then something happened.

For the first time in eight years of marriage, in nine years of being together, Laura and I talked. Of course we have had conversations before, but this time we talked. I spoke, she listened. I don’t know why, but I can usually only emote through my finger tips. The soft clicking of the keyboard is how I get information from my head to other people. If you stick me in a room with them, I just make a joke or offer nothing of significance. This time I spoke. And I spoke. Every emotion that I ever felt was presented. I asked questions. I demanded answers. I asked questions and waited patiently for answers.

We have finally connected on a level that we hadn’t before. The woman I loved became the woman I adore. She is my everything. I could not imagine a life without her in it. I recognize the sweet smell of her breath and every pore on her body. I want to be the best I can be, so she can be proud of me. Because of a misunderstanding we understand so much more about each other.

I have told her things in the past week and a half that I have never told anyone. Anyone. I’ve offered her skeletons and a sense of relief has lifted. We have been open about all of our feelings and this has been the best week and a half of our career. I hated feeling the way I did. I hated being complacent. I hated feeling feelings. But I am so glad I did. My apathetic facade has given way to the man she thought she had in the first place. Laura, I love you, I love you, I love you.

Tear Drops and Sunshine

when I saw your face
your face, god, your face
I never imagined your daughter’s face
I never imagined your son’s face

when I look into their eyes
I see your eyes
your eyes, god, your eyes
it brings tears to my eyes

being with the most beautiful woman is all any man can ask for
it is no surprise to me that others will ask
but I asked and I won

I see sunshine through the tear drops
I see tears of sadness turning to tears of happiness
I see sunshine through the tear drops
I see sun shining through our door
I see sunshine

Please to enjoy.

6 Comments

  1. Amazing. Very touching story. Wish all men (and you know who I mean) had an “aha” moment like you had. All we really want is for you to see us—really see us—for who we really are. Good job Mike. I couldn’t ask for a better man for my daughter.

    Reply
    • Thank you very much for the kind words. I am happy to be part of the family and it means a lot that you feel that way too. Pass it along to the man in question, maybe a shared experience is much needed. For all of us! Thanks again!

      Reply
  2. It is true that all women want is to feel loved. You’re right, it’s super easy to become complacent. Way to step it up, Mike! You two will experience the deeper love you have longed for, hell anyone, strives to have in life. I would cry my eyeballs out if Nick wrote this to me. Xo

    Reply
    • Thanks, MJ! People express themselves differently, he has his ways…it does work both ways, that is where the understanding and communication come in…I have never been happier!

      Reply
  3. I am so happy for both of you. With the everyday hustle and bustle especially with kids, it is very easy to get lost in it all. I wish every marriage to be this way. I love you both so much. Well said, Mook, beautiful story.

    Reply
    • Thanks, Shauna! Love her with all I have to give…

      Reply

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