I Exposed Myself

“The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.” – C. JoyBell C.

I was exposed recently. I was exposed in a way that I didn’t know could exist. It was painful. It was pleasurable. It was painful. It was healthy. It was helpful. It was enlightening. It was necessary. I learned a lot about myself. I have learned more about myself in these few weeks than I had in my previous 31 years. I was exposed and I learned. I learned it may be a time for change.

What is change, though? Change what? I have a fantastic family. A smart, gorgeous wife that many find desirable. A smart and funny four-year old girl who knows more than I do and a vibrant two-year old boy, that is more masculine than I am and is already a lady killer. We have a great house. Much bigger than I ever thought I would have at this point in my life. We have a dog the kids love. I have televisions and computers and iPads and cars and cameras and iPhones and drums and guitars and furniture and an office.

What could I change? I have it all. The family. The materials. What I didn’t have was myself. In highschool, I was fit. Six foot and 170 pounds. Now? I am still six-foot. But, I am very far from 170 pounds. There is something I can change. I need to change. Not only because of health, not only for my children, not only for myself but for my wife as well. She deserves it. I have the most beautiful woman in the world, and she has a fat piece of shit husband that makes dick and fart jokes.

This will also make me happy. I have lost 28 pounds in the past three weeks. I feel the healthiest I have felt in a long time. Clothes I haven’t worn in a while fit. I feel like I am in new skin. It does wonders for the psyche. I am beginning to feel desirable to her. This is something that we both need.

There are other life changes in the works. Besides eating healthier and exercising, which aren’t resolutions by the by, we are focusing on activity and reading. You would think that I read a lot. I haven’t in so long. It am wonder that me can constructed sentence. We are unlocking the mind and rehabilitating our lives. We were bored. Boredom leads people to do desperate things. It was challenging, but we are fighting through the boredom. We were close to losing the fight, but we are stronger than ever.

I will change another thing this year. But that will be for a later post. It may be drastic. It may not be. Nothing for anyone to worry about. Laura and I know that it will be a good change. A change that is necessary.  A change that will expose who I am and let me learn where to go with it.

January is a time for people to reflect on change. Look at yourself in the mirror. What do you see? Do you need to think about your family in a different light? Do you need to look at your health in a different light? Do you need to look at your spouse in a different light? Do you need to look at your career in a different light? Change is okay. It is something people fear, but it is also something that people should embrace.

Please to enjoy.

2 Comments

  1. 28 pounds huh? I am impressed. Can’t wait to hear what your next change is.
    good story.

    Reply
  2. 28 and counting. The next change will be gradual and requires planning. It will be apparent when it comes. Thanks!

    Reply

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